chasing the time
by sisterg0ldenhair
Summary: Everything was different apart from one thing: Jackie still loved Hyde. (Set during Season 8)


Jackie sat quietly with her head on the headrest of the couch as she watched her friends plan a night out.

That was what usually happened nowadays. She never really said anything anymore— and it didn't matter that much. It wasn't like anyone noticed. No one gave a damn anyways, right? Even her so-called best friend didn't bat a single eyelash her way.

She didn't blame them, though. Jackie should have expected it. They _did_ make sure to let her know that she was unwelcome the first few times she had tried to hang out with them all those years ago. So, it shouldn't be a surprise that they weren't talking to her now, right?

"Jackie, are you coming?" Kelso asked her, pulling her away from her thoughts.

Jackie smiled at him. He was the only one who made an effort to make her feel welcome— him and Fez. The two goofballs who would chase her around before were the ones who stuck by her side. "No, Michael. I might have to sit this one out."

"Aw, but you didn't go the last time we went to the Hub too!" Kelso whined, clearly upset that Jackie was not going to be there again. "And then the lunch at Kenosha, and the one before that."

"Yes, it is like you are avoiding us now." Fez pouted. "We miss seeing our goddess everyday."

Jackie was about to laugh until Hyde grunted, "I don't. It's nice to finally have some peace and quiet. We've been deprived of that ever since she came through the door. "

Donna snickered and nudged Hyde to "shut up". Sam laughed and eyed Jackie, "Good one, babe."

Kelso and Fez exchanged troubled looks.

"Normally, I would laugh and congratulate you on the good burn, Hyde, but-" Fez started.

"But what, Fez?" Hyde challenged.

"Man, it just isn't worth it anymore. You're being an asshole." Kelso said.

Hyde said nothing and continued to engage Sam in another heated kiss, and Jackie couldn't tear her eyes away. She couldn't stop looking. Why couldn't she stop looking?

Maybe.. Maybe it was because she wondered if Hyde kissed Sam the way he had her— slow, tender and sweet. He rarely voiced out his love for her but every time their lips would touch, she had felt it it. The way his heart would race every time they touched. Did he cup her face the way he did Jackie's? Did Sam know to tell him that he was capable of love and that he deserved it, just like she had? Did Hyde hold her close at night, and does he inhale her scent as he drift away to sleep just like he had when they were together?

"Jackie, stop staring at Hyde and Sam." Donna scolded at her. "Stop hurting yourself more. You look like you're about to cry, and it's getting really old."

"Donna!" Fez gasped.

"What, it's the truth! It's like she's doing it on purpose!"

"Donna, man, leave Jackie alone." Hyde sighed as he pulled away from Sam.

"That's rich coming from you, Mr. I'm-glad-there's-peace-and-quiet-now!" Donna retorted. "I'm just looking out for her."

"Right." Hyde scoffed.

"Yeah? Like you're any better. Parading Samantha and kissing her with Jackie around all the time." Donna challenged. Hyde looked as if he was punched in the gut, and for a minute Jackie thought that maybe Hyde would say something to her, but of course, he didn't.

Jackie pressed her hands on top of her ears in an attempt to shut them out. She didn't want to hear them anymore. How could they do that to her— and worse, in front of her? It seemed as if they were on a contest to see who could hurt Jackie more, and honestly? She was done. She didn't want to be a part of this. Jackie didn't want to be around people who didn't care about her. She'll find a way to tell Fez and Michael that she was sorry she couldn't stick around anymore. They would understand, they had to.

She stood up and bolted to the door. "I'm— I'm going, you guys. See you around."

"Jackie, wait!" Hyde called after her, but she didn't turn around. Not this time.

"Ai, you two have done it now. She's not gonna come back at all!"

With one last look before she slammed the door, she dared to make eye contact with Hyde. He was on his feet, and his mouth was slightly open. He seemed to be reaching out to her, but his feet were glued on the ground. Sam was on the floor, probably because Hyde stood up too fast? Maybe. She didn't have time to find out because she couldn't look at him anymore.

Looking at him hurt too much.

* * *

Jackie gingerly placed the beer bottle down on the table and stared at the empty space .

It was her fifth one tonight, but the night was still young and she was only getting started. She didn't know how she ended up like this. She used to hate the metallic taste that beer would leave in her mouth, but she was already asking for a few more bottles. The bartender gave her a concerned look before leaving to get her order.

Jackie let out a quivering breath. This wasn't her. She hated that she had turned into someone she could barely recognise at all, but she couldn't help it. She had to escape somehow. Everything has been so horrible to her lately— her parents, Donna, Steven Hyde. _Steven and his wife._

She wanted to be herself again, but how could she when she wasn't with him anymore? It was like he took a huge part of her when he fled to Vegas that night months ago. She chuckled at the thought. How pathetic was she getting? She used to be the girl everyone had lusted over but the tables have turned now. Jackie didn't care about anyone else anymore, no matter how rich or handsome they were. They weren't who she wanted nor were they who she needed . She had been everything to him, even though he rarely said it; and he had been the world to her. He still was.

Hyde was the only person to see past her exterior. The only person who cared enough to be able to break down her guard and her walls. Hyde was the first to call her on her shit with no intention of burning her unlike their other friends. He defended her when Donna or Eric would gang up on her and call her shallow and other names. Hyde knew she was trying not to be— anymore, at least. He had to explain to her that she could still love herself and be confident without being conceited. Jackie guessed that maybe, their friends didn't really like her that much at all. Maybe it wasn't a joke when they would tell her to leave back then.

"They didn't give me a chance," Jackie slurred her words to the bartender as he gave her three more bottles. "Not even my parents. Steven was the only one who did."

The bartender, Roger as his name plate said, gave her an apologetic look, completely unaware of what to say. Instead, he just left her a cold glass of water to keep her hydrated. "No more beer for you, okay?"

"Pfffft." Jackie scoffed. "Says who? I paid for this, and I will pay for the next round. Don't tell me what to do."

"Suit yourself." he muttered more to himself than to Jackie, and went back to work.

Jackie blew him a raspberry and grabbed the next bottle. It took her a shorter time to down the next three bottles. She learned that downing the beer quickly momentarily made her remember nothing. So, that was what she did.

"R-roger! More p-please!" Jackie's said loudly, raising her hand clutching an empty beer bottle on the air.

"Jackie, what the hell, man?"

Jackie turned around to see Hyde making his way towards her. He was alone, wearing his brown jacket and sunglasses. He never looked as handsome as he did at that moment. She longed to reach for him, to kiss him, but she resisted.

"Steven!" Jackie drunkenly laughed and placed a hand in front of her mouth. "You're here! Are you gonna drink too? We can drink together, Roger.. Roger's gonna put it on my tab, right, Roger?"

Hyde looked over the counter to see Roger shaking his head at her, and shrugged at him.

"How many has she had?" Hyde asked.

"Not much, S-Steven. Just, like, a little bit, I think." She giggled as she swayed side to side on her stool.

"She's had eight bottles, 'cluding those ones in front of her."

"Eight?!"

"Yeah, she seemed to be having a rough day." Roger explained while he wiped the counter clean of liquor. "So, you're Steven, huh?

"What's it to you?" Hyde huffed as he held Jackie steadily so she wouldn't fall. Jackie placed her head on his hand, and kissed his knuckles. "Jackie, what are you doing?"

"You have cute knuckles, Puddin' Pop." She smiled with her eyes closed, and hid her face behind her hair. Jackie _knew_ shewas hammered, and she was going to take advantage of the fact that she was. If Hyde held it against her, she would just tell him she didn't know what she was doing because she was intoxicated. Jackie gripped his arm and pulled it closer to her chest. Her heart started pounding harder, and her eyes started to burn as she felt the tears forming in them. She was suddenly grateful that her hair was on her face. Jackie didn't want him to know that she was drinking because of him.

"She kept saying your name," Roger explained. "You together then?"

"Why do you care?" Hyde said. When Roger raised an eyebrow at him, he said quietly, "No. Not-er, not anymore."

Jackie let out a giggle on top of her lungs. She didn't want to hear that, not right now. But she had anyway, and she wanted to change the topic. Hearing him say that made her chest hurt, and it wasn't supposed to anymore. She didn't want to _feel,_ that was why she decided to drink. She drunk to forget— she wanted to feel numb. That way, nothing can hurt her anymore.

"Jacks, hey, I'll take you home." Hyde whispered to her ear. It sent shivers down her spine. She turned her head around and cupped his face.

"Can't. Your wife— she's gonna hate me. And then you're gonna hate me more. And then Donna too, and soon, Fez and Michael will stop caring about me, too."

"That's not true, man." Hyde muttered, looking guilty.

"Yes, it is." Jackie smiled at him. "It's okay, because I'm not coming back to the basement anymore."

"You don't have to stop going, okay? I was being stupid. And Donna just misses Eric, so she's not acting like herself."

Jackie maintained the smile on her face but looked away. Roger wasn't there anymore. Good, he knew when to leave. She didn't want to talk to Hyde about these things right now, but she still had so many questions in her head that she wanted to ask. And, she thought, if she didn't ask now, she wouldn't have the chance to find out. She mustered up all the courage she could in her drunken state and looked at Hyde again. His eyes were sad, and he was brushing the hair away from her face gently— the way he had when they were together.

"Stop that." Jackie frowned, not meeting his eyes as she pushed his hand away gently.

"What do you mean?" Hyde's eyebrows furrowed.

"Making me feel like you still care about me."

Hyde's jaw clenched and he took a deep breath. "But I do, okay? There's no point in putting up with this crap anymore. I don't like hurting you, and I don't like seeing you cry. I'm sorry I've been such a jerk, alright, man? But I don't know how else to act around you. You.. You deserve to be happy."

"So do you, Steven." Jackie answered softly. "And you were for a little while until I ruined everything." Hyde started to say something back, but Jackie cut him off "Steven, you have to believe me. Nothing happened that night a-at Chicago. I kn-know it looked bad, but-"

She broke down crying before she could finish her sentence. Her head was pressed to Hyde's arm, as she cried and tried to say more things. Jackie was sure that Hyde wasn't able to understand what she was saying, but that didn't stop her from mumbling words beneath her sobs.

Hyde held her close and continued to stroke her hair, trying to calm her down. Jackie was spewing incomplete sentences his way, and all he could make out over her crying were, "Still love you" and "Never will hurt you like that, promise".

"That's enough, Jacks, okay? We don't have to remember that anymore. Everything's okay." Hyde said as Jackie looked up to him. He wiped her face free from the tears that had fallen from her eyes. "We're okay."

"Steven," Jackie's voice cracked when Hyde hoisted her up from the bar stool."M'sorry, Steven. So sorry."

"I know, doll." he whispered softly to her, his arms tightening around her body. "Let's go home."

As Hyde carried her out to the Hub and brought her inside his El Camino, she finally understood what he'd been saying all those months before. She didn't know what tomorrow would bring, but she wanted to live right now— in that exact moment. It was in Hyde's arms that the void in her chest was slowly getting filled. She smiled as she heard him whisper, _"She's gone now. It's always been you, Jackie."_

They had a lot to talk about in the morning, but none of it mattered at the moment. Jackie will worry about it tomorrow when she wakes up, all that mattered was him right now, and how he wasn't pushing her away when she leaned in and snuggled his chest. This was it.

She was finally going back home to him.

* * *

 _Author's Note: Hey guys! Me and my sister decided to do a fic writing challenge where we write short drabbles of 2k words every week, and this is how the first one turned out. It's super angsty and the characters might be a little bit out of character. But I thought that would be how they would develop given the circumstances of Season 8! Anyway, I hope you guys like it. Please let me know your thoughts by reviewing!_


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